half_resigned.ra (Real Audio format, 545k)

This is one of the simplest songs I've yet done, musically, which is probably a lesson in itself. It's kind of, well, graceful, and I'm always stunned to find my voice producing anything resembling beauty. The text represents a very conscious effort on my part to write one that had nothing to do with artists, technology, or loneliness. As you see, I eliminated most of the artist stuff (except one letter, which you could claim isn't technically Art), and most of the technology stuff (save the car phone), but the loneliness seems to have remained. I guess that's what I get for making music by locking myself in my apartment by myself for extended periods. Note the E-bowed guitar solo!

They dance, half tense,
Half resigned to their frustration,
Slow drinks, long pauses,
Tracing hearts in condensation.

But I know from here,
With someone else across the table,
They aren't in their thoughts, and
I hover in fringes and deal with the waiter.

I never intended
To trace this vulture's spiral,
But I've set up the pattern,

And the part that I've been waiting for
Always seems somehow to get
Lost in the ellipses
And never actually said.

I dream, distant,
Scenes oddly without detail:
Her arms, my car,
My name on a letter as she opens her mail.

It could be what
These other pairings are so far from,
But we can't tear ourselves
From our inertia long enough to pick up the car phone.

I never intended
To roll through life like this in neutral,
But you're holding his hand,

And the part that I've been waiting for
Always seems somehow to get
Lost in the ellipses
And never actually said.

I always meant to
Tell the truth to all of them,
But it never fit the rhythm,

And the part that I've been waiting for
Always seems somehow to get
Lost in the ellipses.

3 July 1995

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