Best of Birdhouse Mail
Without getting all fancy, here's a raw text dump featuring a few of the best unsolicited pages to come our way... names and addresses stripped out to protect the innocent and keep the libel lawyers off our backs.
Crackpots Descend from the Sky
Subject: Fakes From: Heptatrema Madonnahood Date: June 2002 There is something extremely wrong with every single person in this world. They seem to be part of a pointless simulation. "The Matrix" has portrayed this idea somewhat, yet we watch it and go back to our daily lives. Yet in this very life, underneath the seeming diversity in people's opinions, values, talents, and interests, there is something that makes everyone the same. It is as though this planet is populated only by mindless fakes, objects that provide the appearance of intellect on the surface but are based on only mechanical reflexes and primitive thought patterns. I don't really care if anything I say has been said before, if it was portrayed in movies, in books, or in the lyrics of some useless song. With 6 billion people covering the globe at any given time, thousands and thousands of years of written literature, probability dictates almost any combination of words has occurred numerous times. Yet there is clear evidence there was no action, so those words, just like the people who spoke them, must have been just more fakes. I am forced to use this language (also created by the fakes) because there is no alternative, so everything I write here could be misunderstood to make me sound like one of them, but it will be the action that I take and the dedication that will separate me from them. In my estimation the fakes that occupy this planet don't make up 99%, but more like 99.9999999% of the population. I know this because I've searched, and in my search have so far only found one true ally (I have found him via the internet as well). But even with those numbers we would not give up because there is no logic in giving up. The people on this planet are all fakes because the societies have made them this way. Ideas that populate people's minds have no logic or purpose. Concepts such as religion, god, morality, individualism, freedom, identity, happiness, love and billions of others are all just memes. Like parasites they infect the minds and spread from one person to the next. They have no point or purpose; they exist without any logical basis or foundation. The fakes are completely controlled by them, and they will never see beyond them. To not be controlled by them one must do more then just realize that they exist. One must resist any ideas that have no point, endlessly question, and never accept imperfection or compromise in any answer. We (myself and my ally) are different though. While we have had the limitation of existing only in these societies, something has made it possible for us to resist being indoctrinated into becoming one of those fakes. We have no arbitrary wants, needs, desires, or preferences. If this world continues to exist the way it is then nothing in it will ever have a point. It will always be just a product of random evolution, one with no importance or relevance. The only logical goal is to dedicate our lives to increasing our numbers, those that aren't fakes, so that in thousands of years our numbers may be such that the fakes would no longer be a threat to progress. Those that join us must see every other person occupying this planet as the enemy, and us as their only allies. Like us they must have dedication only to taking the most logical action, and to nothing else. To tell you more about us, we've posted some personal information about ourselves on a website. You'll also find past responses to us on that webpage. Obviously anyone reading this email is most likely just another fake. Do not simply reply to this email, if you do your message will almost certainly be ignored. If you do wish to communicate, first demonstrate your interest by taking the effort to find us online, one of the ways to do that is described below. Use a major search engine to search for every combination of any two words from the list below. The order of the words shouldn't matter as long as you do not search for them in quotes. Also when you pick the right combination you shouldn't need to look at more then the first matches. There is no trick to this and this isn't meant to be quick, it should, however, be fairly clear if/when you find the right site. The following search engines were verified by us, please use any of them as other search engines may simply not list us correctly: MSN, Lycos, InfoSeek, FastSearch, LookSmart, HotBot, InfoSpace, Ask.com, AllTheWeb, Teoma, WebCrawler, AltaVista. perfect theory endless eternal desire ambition driving perpetual idea logical infinite dream final best escape objective thought only logic clue If this can't be solved, or if you never reach us, there should be no reason for you to give up as we will never give up and thus there will always be some way to find us. -------------- Ryan and Jacob
THIS WAS PAST ON TO ME AND IS TRUE PLEASE IN SOON THIS WILL HAPPEN GOOD NEWS REVERLATIONS 21 / 22 .....6 PLEASE CLEAN UP DAMS HOLY WATER HEAL THE NATIONS WISDOM TWO ALL IN TWO WEEKS MAN SAY COMENT LIKE SUPER MAN COMING BUT WHAT WHOULD YOU CALL IT WATER FROM BENEATH WATER FROM ABOVE COME TOGETHER IS WRITTEN ON THE DAY BEFORE BAD THE DAY THINKING GOOD THE DAY AFTER BETTER BE THINKING GOOD GOOD STAY IF HELPING REMEMBER WHAT HAPPEND THE FIST TIME WE WILL KNOT MAKE SAME MISTACK TWISE REMEMBER JESUS IN TREE REMEMBER FLOWERS FROM HEAVEN ICE QUACK GOOD MAKE THINGS GOOD ICE IS EARTH TO GOD AUSTRODAMES PREDICTIONS CHANGE PRESIDANT SPOKE TO WORLD WORK TOGETHER TEN COMANDMENTS LIKE SON SAY SORRY DAD COME GOD NAME IN PAPER ALL THE TIME YOU LAUTH IS THE A GOD SIGNES EVERY WHERE I WHENT HOME FOR JESUS COMES TO ALL WHO THINK GOOD AND HELP THE NEIGHBOUR MAN AT WAR 1 2 3 GOD YOU WILL SEA ONCE AN FOR ALL AND PLEASE HISTORY LIKE SUN FLICKER ING TO FLOWER FROM HEAVENS GET PICTURE SON OF GOD HERE NOW AND FREEDOM TWO ALL COME ING SOON PLENTY OF WORK PRESIDANT HAS MORE IN FORMATION ALL SO CHANNEL NINE NEWS THEY LAUTH SENT MESIGE TO POPE DONT KNOW IF GOT THROUH BY FAX PROBERLY IN BIN STARS SAY FOOD POT SPOON NO NAME = JESUS TO ALL TREE OFF LIFE PLANT LATER FOR MOTHER DAD 2 SON FAMILY CHILDREN PLEAS PASS ON AND I WOULD WORRY ABOUT MONEY IF I WAS YOU I HAVE KNOT MUTCH MY SELF AND DO YOU NO WHAT I HAD TO DO TO GET IT FOR NO HELP THYINK WATER FROM SKY AND WATER FROM BENEATH AND FIRE TO DOG TRACK LORDS NAME TREE FLOWERS ICE QUACK HEAVENS COULER GOOD SUMER GOOD AUTUM CACTH SEEDS PLEASE MAN WIOLL GO THROUGH A CGANG OF LIFE LIKE WOMAN PLEASE POPE GOING THROU WON KNOW SEEN IN PICTURE WORK FROM PAPERS TO GOD I LIKE HIMSELF HAVE MADE PLANES SOON PLEASE THINK GOOD WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENS I HAVE SENT MESSIGES TO CHURCHS HOPE FULLY THE NUNS GET THE MESSAGE WOMAN WILL BE MAN WILL BE HAVE KNOW CHOICE MUST GET WATER ON YOU THINK GOOD PLEASE ANIMALS PLEASE 2 DEATH BURN LOT OF WATER COLD FOGEY OCUVATE MOTHER KNOWS BIRTH WILL TAKE LIKE MAN A WOMAN START FINISH PLEASE LIKE A VIRGIN WOMAN ALL WOMAN OFF STREETS GO HOME YOU REWARDS LATER DO KNOT TEST GOD PATINTS MORE IN FORMATION LATER WHEN SOME ONE HELPS CLEAN UP BALI BELI TO YUO ALL IFF YUO DONT 2 WEEKS SOON AY MEDICAL PLEASE HURT CHILD YUO WILL SEE SIGN OR GOD PLEASE LISTEN JUST CLEAN UP PASS ON IS KNOT UP TO YUO TO JUDGE OR KNOT PASS ON PLEASE GRANDMOTHERS AND GRAN FATHERS ELDERLY AND SICK PLEASE RELAXE YUO CHILDREN WILL BE WELL LOOKEDE AFTER FOR EVER AND EVER SPACE ROCKETS TOY WILL TURN THEM AROUND OR BURN LIKE SUN PASS ON MESSIGE KNOW AND MAY GOD BLESS YUO ALL HE WHO FLYS TO SEE WHO WRITS READ PAPERS MAKE MISTAKE LEFT CHILDREN BAD PLEASE ALL SON IN SIDE WILL BE OUT THE DAY BEFORE HELPING IF MAN THINKING GOOD YOU REWARDS WILL BE GREAT THREE DAYS HAVE PASSED SINCE I SENT MESSIGE OUT TO NET KNOW RESPONCE SO I KEEP TRYING ANY WAVE THEN GOD COMANDED LET THE WATER BELOW THE SKY COME TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE SO THAT THE LAND WILL APEAR PLANT TREES OF LIFE RESPECT AND COMEN SENCE DONT LAUGH LATER SOON ALL THIS WILL HAPPEN AND I WOULDANT WORY ABOUT MONEY PLEASE RECIPTS FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HELP G GOOD NEWS GENESIS I A DO YOU KNOW I MYSELF CAN NOT GET MESIGE THROUGH TO POPI OR OHTERS BECAUSE LIKE SECRET AGENTS APPONTMANTS @ YOUNG HEART SOON YOU WILL SEE WORKINGS OF GOD AND I FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL VICTORIA AUSTRALIA LIKE TRAILER HOW WE ACT COPE LISTEN TO HE WHO SPEEKS OTHERS WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO COME TO ALL REMEMBER YOU PRAY FOR THIS DAYS WILL YOU SAY GO BACK OR LISTEN AND HELP I LIKE HIMSELF READ IN PAPERS BAD YOU WILL SEE I AT WORK SOON TO .I BODY FINDS SPARKS SEARIAL KILLERS FEAR . IS THIS WHAT YOU WHANT TO HEAR AND SEE IN NEWS FORGET IT I . GOD ALL MIGHTY SAY I COMING SON GOD HELP THE MAN WHO LISTENS HELPS AND GOD HELP THE MAN WHO DOSENT LISTEN GOOD T BAD X GOOD T IS HERE TO STAY PLEASE RECORD ALL HISTORY OF EVENTS BEFORE AND AFTER DONT WHANT A AWAKENIG AGAIN DO WE . CLEAN UP ANIMALS SAME AS BEFORE LONG TIME AGO WHITE SUN HEAVENS BEAUTIFUL DEASE OUT OFF GROUND FROM B/W . PLEASE BURN 2 DEATH WATER RUN OF INTO DRINK AND DAMS . PLEASE RECIPTS WISDOM PLENTY COMENE SENSE ALL CREATIONS LIKE I GOD HIMSELF THERE IS 5 BIG O SUPRISES TO COME I WILL TELL ALL AT WHANTS WORLD REMEMBER THE CHILDREN POT . STAR ON CHAIR I 2 3 . I LOVE YOU . GOD . MAN ARMS OUT IN STARS . ITS TIME THANK GOD YOU ? IS DONE THINK GOOD . TEACH BIBEL LATER 2 WEEKS JUST READ START AND END ONCE . IS ANOUGHT MESIGE TO ALL LIKE A VIRGIN PLEASE WOMAN GO TO CHURCH KNOW MORE TEARS FOR CHILDREN WHO CRY LOUD DAD COMING TOGETHER WITH FAMILY CHILDREN EASTER BUNNY TO YOU HE WHO SCARES CHILDREN BETER CALM LIKE LAME GOD AND I LIKE HIMSELF WILL BE WORKING ON 1 2 3 D . MEASIGE OUT TO WORLD CLAEN UP MEAT DESEASE COMEING FROM EVERY WHERE BIRDS PECK CATS AET AND SO ON ....PLEASE GENTLE S M D C GOD = I FOR EVER EVER . REMEMBER I WORK GOOD ON AIR WAVES TO SIGE IN SKY BIG BUT TO TELL YOU I HERE KNOT MENT TO SCARE UNDER STAND TELL GOD WHAT SIGN YOU WOULD LIKE ? EVERY ONE WHO THINKS GOOD GREAT REMEMBER AFTER P-LANE KNOT BEFORE SILLY BILLY MONEY MONEY MONEY RECEIPS ......... ... HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN . HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL MUM I LOVE YOU AND . FAMILY SO DONT CRY FOR ME I YOUNG HEART TWINKEL
Subject: Time Travelers PLEASE HELP!! ..
If you are a time traveler or alien disguised as human and or have the technology to travel physically through time I need your help!
My life has been severely tampered with and cursed!! I have suffered tremendously and am now dying!
I need to be able to:
Travel back in time.
Rewind my life including my age back to 4.
Be able to remember what I know now so that I can prevent my life from being tampered with again after I go back.
I am in very great danger and need this immediately!
I am aware that there are many types of time travel, and that humans do not do well through certain types.
I need as close to temporal reversion as possible, as safely as possible. To be able to rewind the hands of time in such a way that the universe of now will cease to exist. I know that there are some very powerful people out there with alien or government equipment capable of doing just that.
If you can help me I will pay for your teleport or trip down here, Along with hotel stay, food and all expenses. I will pay top dollar for the equipment. Proof must be provided.
Please be advised that any temporal device that you may employ must account for X, Y, and Z coordinates as well as the temporal location. I have a time machine now, but it has limited abilitys and is useless without a vortex. If you can provide information on how to create vortex generator or where I can get some of the blue glowing moon crystals this would also be helpful.
I am aware of two types of time travel one in physical form and the other in energy form where a snapshot of your brain is taken using either the dimensional warp or an electronic device and then sends your consciousness back through time to part with your younger self. Please explain how safe and what your method involves.
Also if you are one of the very, very, few beings with the ability to edit the universe PLEASE REPLY!!!
Only if you have this technology and can help me exactly as mentioned please send me a (SEPARATE) email to: IneedTimeTravel@aol.com
Please do not reply if your an evil alien!
WOW! about your adress. I get it in my bookmark!
I was just in search of an address wath could help me to travel to REAL HOUSE BUIDING by-my-self for the birds fliying near me.
WOW! wath an address!
I spent with you a total space way of living with birds spirit with the adress you are on. All tanks.
BUT... I am so desperately in search of:
Where , on the WEB, or elsewhere, could I find HOUSE PLANS and DESIGNS to build, by my self, birds house for them near my place. I write poetry with birds and I would like they spend a little time here, near my place.
I live in an country environnement with pines, cedars, fir-trees, mapples and others trees. Near-near, a fighting and strong river, 100 feet large, goes at 250 feet from my house. Its name is Riviere Montmorency, fifteen miles from Quebec City, P.Q. Canada. So, I have many northern birds, big and little. I know their name in french and in latin but ...in english I miss my words... Forgive me.
That is why (from my wonderfull place) I want an adress where I could have plans, designs to build ,by-my-self, houses and wood nest for them to keep them near the place during spring, summer, automn and...may be during winter...
Thanks in advance to read and ...possibely get to me an intersting answer, or way to investigate,
Prom Dress (Perhaps a bad case of the wrong address:
Emily, I got my prom dress tonite! I am SO happy and excited about it. It is so pretty. It's all the way down to my feet, and it's baby blue. It's sleeveless, but with thick straps. the top is sequinny, but not tacky, and it cuts right under the boobs. ( and as strange as it may seem, it actually looks halfway decent on me.) But, at any rate I love it so much. Oh, and because I know that you are thinking that's great and all, but doesn't Bess need a date? Well, to answer your question, I do. I am going to prom with my friend Zack Kinsey. He goes to UMD. I have known him for a while, from snowboarding and stuff. So, I just thought that I would tell you the great news. Grace wants to write something, though, so E-mail back tonite. Also, I think That I am coming up very soon.
Emily, Nick and I decided to just be friends. Well, I wanted to go out with him and He told me that he wanted to go out with me but he didn't want to ruin our friendship. When he first said this i was crushed, then when I talked to him that night I reolized what he was saying was true. Daddys not in that good of a mood right now. His car is screwed up. He just told us that he's going up stairs and eating Robins eggs(a type of candy) till he passes out! well I'v gota run. see ya on the other side. Love always GRACE AND BESS
Oh Great Being of the Earth! Know that as you even doubt your worth your race is the most advanced of the Creation and as such, Ye are even studied by other life forms with a seemingly advanced culture. However do not be deceived! As they have come from the heavens. Know, Great Being OF Earth, They Seek to study You as they have traveled through dimensions and space unimaginable as yet to you, to gaze on you. For as Ye have little Technology compared to them Know, Ye Great Beings of Earth, that within your structures are more capabilities than ever possible with any life form before. Those who seem so far advanced as they are to appear and disappear at will, can never develop to the capacity possible and inherent in you.
They Know this and seek to integrate these seemingly benign powers to integrate them for themselves . This is not to be howeveras they have violated Creations Laws in order to bring this about. They shall meet with limited success Once you unlock the secretes of consciousness. This will give you your powers in the Great as now you have in the small. You will inherit your destiny and with the creator and will in a form govern the heavens. These other life forms marvel and fear at your completeness and your capacities. Our composition is the most complete visualized as of yet by the Creation. We have simply to begin to harness the powers given waiting dormant for thousands of years in our brains. This is happening at an accelerated rate now.
As your science and technology and spiritual converge this will become apparent to all. As to unlocking the key to power simply align your experience with love and respect for the Creation As simple as this command is It has yet to be heeded. This will take place in the generations to come.
Never fear you have spanned the abyss and arrived triumphant. We in the heavens salute you, though now you seem as children to yourselves. The Creation has endowed itsą most complete set of functions in your cells. The Universe awaits your simple Recognition of this fact. Go in Love...XXX