Tarantulas R Big Game

I dreamed I woke up and walked straight from my bedto the bathroom. There were the usual bugs on the floorand ceiling, but today there was also something new -- agiant brown and cream colored tarantula, facing 8 o'clockon the tiled bathtub-shower wall. It would probably bepissed-off if I got it wet, I thought. Maybe I won't take ashower today. I stood there watching its mandiblesopening and closing, and noticed that the entire bathroomhad been redone in AT&T telephone-pink plastic. Thenthere was a woman standing right next to me, wearingonly a blue towel. I had never seen her before in my life,yet she was holding my shoes. Feeling shame, I snatchedone of my shoes out of her hand and used it to cover mynakedness. She stepped toward the bathtub and took aswing at the tarantula with my other shoe. Direct hit tothe thorax -- brown spider juice splattered all over the walland dripping down sticky sweet as rotten banana. Thetarantula staggered a couple of steps and stopped. Sheswung again, me watching her helplessly, paralyzed.POP! went its exploding brain pan.It fell into the dry tub, obviously out of misery now, andaddressing her back, I managed to stammer Wha-wa-what the fuck?!She turned and handed me my other shoe, still dripping.Then she placed her bare foot atop the tarantula's carcassand pulled both mandibles out of their jaw sockets. Theywere ivory, like miniature elephant tusks. She thrustthem toward me. Tossing my shoes into the cornerbehind the door, I took one in each hand. Fixing me withher eyes, she took off the towel she was wearing andwrapped it around my abdomen, tucking in the end atmy navel. Her eyes told me to take a shower, and withthat, she walked out.

Later that night I dreamed she came back and we wereboth much younger, children in fact, and she wanted toknow did I have any new games we could play. I saidNo, but I just got two baby elephant tusks, maybe theywere good for something. I fetched them from of mytoy box. Too small for piano keys, she said, but too bigfor toothpicks. Yeah, they're just toys, I replied. Hmmm.Then she beamed, I know what to do -- let's play chopsticks!She took the tusks from me and started beating them on the floor like drumsticks. To show my appreciation of therhythms she was pounding out, I took a red rubber ball out of my toy box and rolled it across the floor toward where she was playing. It was a solid hit, totally disruptingher pattern. She accepted the challenge and immediatelyraised the stakes by handing me the tusks and beckoningme to play chopsticks on the glass coffee table. As soonas I got my rhythm going, she threw the rubber ball atmy hands. She scored big, not only stopping me in mytracks, but also knocking over the Aztec obsidian statuette.It quivered back and forth on its side, grimacing at me.When we both had stopped laughing, she picked up the tusksand I dug the the ball out from under the couch. We kepttaking turns like this, playing chopsticks with thebaby elephant tusks and throwing the red rubber ball ateverything in the house. Miraculously, nothing broke.

Dreamed by: Spraxlo